FEMALE FRIENDSHIPS

By Elle Reese Barnett

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Female Friendships seemed like the perfect topic for us to start with because our relationship specifically has opened our eyes again to the true beauty of a good female friend.

They can be so powerful and iconic when both females are able to lift the other one up. When both females are happy for the other one's success. When both females can celebrate the other without feelings of jealousy or distaste.

A stamp of approval from your girlfriend means EVERYTHING because you value their opinion and trust them that much. If your girlfriend says to change your top, you change your top. If she says post that pic, you post that pic!

One thing Mary Rose and I always tell each other is that we would never steer each other wrong. We would never lead the other in the wrong direction, and we only want what's best for each other. And that's the exact kind of female friendship most women are looking for.

It's such a beautiful feeling and a beautiful thing, so why would most girls say they've had a hard time with female friends growing up? If they are so amazing, how can they also be kinda toxic at times?

We aren't claiming to have female friendships completely figured out or mastered. But we do have 19 years of experience with female friendships and trying to maintain them. Today we talk all about the dynamic between two female friends, and why these relationships can be so challenging.

“WHEN YOU HAVE FEMALE FRIENDSHIPS, GOOD FEMALE FRIENDSHIPS THAT CHEER YOU ON, ITS SO SPECIAL AND SO POWERFUL."

Starting back at the beginning of my female friendships, I can tell you I've made a lot of mistakes. I was a naive young girl in elementary and middle, and I tended to take my girlfriends for granted. I didn't cherish the women in my life as much as they deserved.

That was mostly because I was so young, and I didn't know any better. Because as I got older, into high school, I started to appreciate my friends more than the world.

I cherished them. Made sure they were content at all times and loved them as much as possible. I stopped letting petty dramas get in the way of my friendships. I stopped letting boys get in the way of my friendships. I started to really acknowledge that my friends had separate lives outside me, and I was finally okay with that. Not only was I okay with that, but I was supportive of their separate lives.

This change for me didn't happen naturally, this change for me I think happened because I was sick of losing girlfriends. And once I realized that the common denominator in all of these lost friendships was me, I knew something needed to change.

The key to having good female friendships is being able to acknowledge when you might be in the wrong and they might be right. Let go of your ego, and start taking the right side, not just your side.

Something I used to struggle with a lot in middle school especially was being so jealous of my girlfriends that I couldn't celebrate their success. Celebrating your friends when they are up is just important as lifting them up when they are down.

Girls support girls. period.

If you are struggling with jealousy and resentment in your friendships remember this-

It has nothing to do with her and everything to do with you. If it wasn't her, it would be someone else. If she wasn't in the room, you'd find another girl to be jealous of. When you have deep insecurities they often manifest into hatred toward others, and that's not fair. Not fair to that person, or to you.

To help this, do things that make you feel like you. Build your confidence around the fact that you are you, not around the fact that you're getting closer to being like someone else.

The next thing that tends to complicate female friendships is when boys come into play.

Especially when we are younger and more naive, we tend to ditch our girlfriends whenever a guy shows us the slightest bit of attention.

Don't be the girl who loses all her friends because of her relationship. Because what happens if or when you break up? You're left with nothing when you could've had it all at once.

There IS enough love to go around, love on your friends!!

Boys come and go but friends are forever.

Cheesy but true.

For some reason, in most of mine at least, female friendships tend to blow up and end on horrible terms.

Any female friends, they're going to fight eventually. Even if it's something petty, arguing is natural to us. Don't feel like you have to completely cut off your friend because of one mishap. People make mistakes, give your friends grace.

Also In any female friendship, you might grow apart eventually. If it's happening, let it happen naturally. Don't force a friendship and cause a big blow-up, when you could end on good terms instead. People are meant to stay for certain seasons of their life then go. Wouldn't you rather let them all fade in peace instead of in a big fight?

Maintaining your female friendships should be easy with the right people, but all relationships can be tricky at times. Balancing your relationship and friendships is difficult. But I assure you it's possible. And when you do find those amazing female friendships, you'll never look back on your old ways.

Supporting women is the best feeling.

WOMEN ROCK! FEMALE FRIENDSHIPS ROCK!